"I could not have known then that everybody, every person has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way....Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my soul fertile for all the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently."
-Donald Miller
"Through Painted Deserts"
Two years ago, Audra told me that I wouldn't like the book "Through Painted Deserts." She was absolutely right. Two years ago, I wouldn't have liked it. I was so caught up in planning things instead of living them, in trying my best to stay still in the middle of a rolling wave. I've started reading it now, and I'm a little shocked to find that I love it. It's all about change and newness, about leaving the old and living the new. I think I'm ready for newness now, not because I don't like what I have right now, but because it's time for my life's season to change.
I won't claim to be all the way past my reluctance to change. The thought of leaving Mbale still makes me sad. The frustration at time moving on, though, has been replaced by anticipation of the next big adventure.
People talk to me about college and my plans for the future at least once a week. When I say I'm going to be moving to America in 8 months, most of them say something like, "Oh, wow, that will be a big transition for you!"
And I think, "Oh, wow, you have no idea." I'm leaving this:
And going to this:
I can't make it alone...but I'm leaving in God's time, with His blessing. If God can change the leaves on trees, freeze rushing rivers, and push new flowers up through spring soil, He can get me through this season change in me.
Comments (2)
Yes, I do have an idea of how you will feel about the transition. I haven't been to Africa personally, but I think that when one has been there for a very long time, it is very, very hard to leave....
Yowsers! That is a drastic difference! Fortunately, most of your driving will not be on such an enormous inter-tangling of roads. However, I know it must feel like every little thing that is/will be even slightly different is from a completely other planet! But you're right, God will provide just what you need to make this transition well. We'll miss you on this side, but we'll also be thinking of you and praying for you like we never have before. Love you, Boo La La